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Richard Grossman

Boswell Speaks: A Canine Twitter Novel

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  • BoswellSpeaks
    Hello, I’m an Australian terrier. My pal who feeds me is the poet, Richard Grossman. What is the meaning of life? Now let me see…
    8/3/2011 9:30 am by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Maybe the meaning of life has something to do with kibble. A secret arrangement in my bowl. Maybe the spirit of the bowl can speak to me.
    8/3/2011 9:35 am by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    I saw the meaning of life written in my kibble, but then I ate the message. Drats!
    8/3/2011 10:00 am by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Now I have to wait till tomorrow to get another shot at understanding the secret meaning of everything.
    8/3/2011 10:40 am by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    But maybe the spirit speaks to me in other ways.
    8/3/2011 10:45 am by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Why should I be so down on myself for eating the meaning of the universe? It was written in kibble. They say I’m a dog. Dogs eat kibble.
    8/3/2011 12:00 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Now that I’m trying to understand the key to the universe, I feel great. I have an open mind. My bowl is empty. What does this mean?
    8/3/2011 12:30 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    There goes Grossman, walking through the kitchen. Grossman is new to Twitter. I feel sorry for him. Poor guy.
    8/3/2011 1:00 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Two hours ago Grossman couldn’t tell you the difference between a tweet and a chihuahua, but he thinks about the universe all the time.
    8/3/2011 1:30 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    I figure if I can decode the message in my kibble maybe I can help Grossman with his poetry. He walks me. He deserves it.
    8/3/2011 2:05 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    I’m going to focus on the basics before I take my nap. I’m always napping. Can napping have anything to do with the meaning of the universe?
    8/3/2011 2:55 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    What do I know that can’t be contradicted? Where do I begin my philosophy? Hmmmm. Sleep, nap, universe, Boswell. What is basic?
    8/3/2011 3:05 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    I sleep therefore I am!!! http://ow.ly/i/ff2j
    8/3/2011 3:35 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    My pal StuffyToy looks like a human but he only has one eye. I run around the house with him before I sleep.
    8/3/2011 4:00 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    I can channel StuffyToy. I can’t channel humans, just Stuffy. He speaks my language yet has a human point of view. He loves to brag.
    8/3/2011 4:20 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    What does a one-eyed toy with tooth marks have to brag about? Maybe Stuffy does have a human nature. It’s possible.
    8/3/2011 5:15 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Stuffy tells me that one eye is better than two. He brags about the threads sticking out of the hole in his face. He has a ton of attitude
    8/3/2011 5:50 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Stuffy thinks existence is loaded with conflict. He’s tugged and gnawed and trampled and kicked. He was young once.
    8/3/2011 7:10 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    But StuffyToy and I are buddies. He puts up with my quirks. He’s proud that I am trying to figure out the meaning of life.
    8/3/2011 7:25 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    I ask StuffyToy: Are we created to be the victims of evil? Sometimes I don’t get enough treats. Why is fate so cruel?
    8/3/2011 7:50 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    StuffyToy winks before he answers. (He always winks before he answers.) He says I should focus on the Big Picture. Karma and past lives.
    8/3/2011 8:25 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    I tell Stuffy I can’t believe I was a treat-miser in a past life. If I had treats I gave them to dogs of all creeds and breeds. For sure.
    8/3/2011 8:40 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Stuffy lies next to my bowl: You can’t even learn from your kibble, he says. How would you know about fate? Grossman could tell you.
    8/3/2011 9:10 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    How would Grossman know? I bark. Besides, I’ll get another shot at learning the meaning of the universe tomorrow morning.
    8/3/2011 9:25 pm by BoswellSpeaks
  • BoswellSpeaks
    Grossman knows because he is more evolved than you. He gave out treats in a former life. You get plenty of treats.
    8/3/2011 9:45 pm by BoswellSpeaks
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